I have a beautiful baby niece!!! Can’t wait to post pictures!!!
Ben Howard feat. Daughter - Black Flies
Black flies on the windowsill
That we are
That we are
That we are to know
Winter stole summer’s thrill
And the river’s cracked and cold
See the sky is no man’s land
A darkened plume to stay
Hope here needs a humble hand
Not a fox found in your place
No man is an island, this I know
But can’t you see?
Maybe you were the ocean when I was just a stone
Black flies on the windowsill
That we are
That we are
That we are to hold
Comfort came against my will
And every story must grow old
Still I’ll be a traveler
A gypsy’s reins to face
But the road is wearier
With that fool found in your place
No man is an island, this I know
But can’t you see?
Maybe you were the ocean when I was just a stone
So here we are
[Instrumental]
Oh I don’t wanna beg your pardon
And I don’t wanna ask you why
But if I was to go my own way
Would I have to pass you by?
Oh I don’t wanna beg your pardon
And I don’t wanna ask you why
But if I was to go my own way
Would I have to pass you by?
Pensive? Maybe.
Have I been watching too many episodes of Pretty Little Liars? Perhaps.
I do not want to work out. I do not want to work out. I do not want to work out.
…
…
…
Fine. But I hate everything.
Depth over distance was all I asked of you
And I may be foolish to fall as I do
Still there’s strength in the blindness you fear
If you’re coming too
If you’re coming too
Hold on, wait until that lone sun
Breaks from the arms of the Lord
Hold on, though we may be too young
To know this ride we’re on
(Source: heartunes)
(Source: with-some-lace-and-paper-flowers)
ummm…. yes.
I mean the song…. obviously.
It’s Saturday and I don’t want to do homework. Guess what that means….
___________________________________________________________
February 10, 2007
My hair wasn’t really going the way I wanted it to. I mean, it didn’t really matter, I was just playing road hockey. But I always want try and look good for camp people. I don’t know why. I think it has something to do with how infrequently you get to see them, you have to make those few times count. And today Cody, Josiah A. and Josiah M. were coming to play road hockey and hang out.
It was a weird group, but that happened with camp friends. Again, I think it’s that you have so few chances to see them that it doesn’t really who is included in the group of people, as long as you’re close with some of them. I was excited to see Cody, I hadn’t seen him since the reunion and I had spent the summer working with him in the cafe. A number of years younger than me, I think he was the type of guy you could goof around with and not really worry about people thinking it was a romantic thing, or at least, you would hope they wouldn’t. I didn’t know Josiah A too well, but he was a fun enough guy to hang out with, I figured it would be fine.
As for Josiah M, well, I hadn’t seen him since reunion either… but we had talked. MSN was becoming a frequent past time for both of us. We would spend hours online, talking about school, star trek, life, things that did and didn’t matter. Recently while online, Josiah had told me things didn’t work out with the girl. I was probably more invested in that conversation than I had expected to be. Maybe that’s why my hair mattered so much despite just playing road hockey.
The group finally showed up and hockey got underway. Everything was going well and we were all having a good time and then, as seems to happen when things are going smoothly, a bump seems to come along. Somehow, Josiah M managed to have a run in with a sharp metal object that had been sticking out of a bin on the side of the parking lot. Remarkably, the scrape seemed to do little damage, despite being incredibly close to his eye.
Smooth.
Fortunately everything worked out and we were able to continue on. Once the game ended, the four of us planned on hanging out more. Fairly comfortable with hanging out with guys, I didn’t mind that there weren’t any other girls there. We decided to go to Wendy’s. There, as usual, we joked around, catching up on the months that had passed, looking forward to the summer months that were coming all too slowly. But then we had to decide what to do next. As typical to Canadian winters, there really wasn’t a whole lot to do if you wanted to keep warm while doing it. The decision was made to go to the movies which, under most circumstances, wouldn’t be something particularly important. The abnormal part about this excursion was the movie that was decided upon… The Messengers.
What am I agreeing to? I hate scary movies. The scariest movie I had ever seen was Sleeping Beauty, I really wasn’t one for thrillers. How bad could it be though, really? I know the things in it aren’t real, besides, they all want to see it… Don’t be such a baby.
Poor choice.
Within the first half hour of the movie I wanted to run away screaming and crying and surround myself with puppies and flowers and have the sun shining forever. Sitting between Josiah M and Cody, I couldn’t say anything, despite being sure my sheer terror was very clearly displayed on my face. I didn’t want to seem like a baby, though again I’m sure it was obvious. Cody offered to hold my hand so I wasn’t so afraid… It wasn’t really the hand I wanted to be offered, but it was better than nothing.
Finally, the movie ended. I had never felt so relieved.
We decided to visit Jannah as Josiah A hadn’t seen her for awhile, even though Josiah M didn’t really know her at all. But, in true Jannah form, she made everyone feel comfortable, stranger or not, and we all had a good time. While we were there, the phone rang. It was for Josiah.
“My Dad says the snow is getting really bad, he’s worried about me driving us home,” Josiah told us, the phone still in his hand. Clearly his dad was looking for a better solution than Josiah just trying it anyways.
“I’m sure if you needed somewhere to stay, you can stay at my parents’ place,” I offered, glad for the opportunity to spend more time with them anyways.
Josiah suggested the idea to his dad. It seemed to go over alright, we just had to get the okay from everyone else involved, including my parents. Within a half an hour, it was settled.
A little bit later, the phone rang again. It was Josiah’s dad calling. We heard them talking, with Josiah’s voice getting quieter and quieter, clearly it was a conversation he didn’t want to here. Soon, Josiah returned to the group.
“Ummmm, my Dad doesn’t think it’s a good idea to stay at Hannah’s anymore. Josiah, you said if Hannah’s hadn’t worked out we might be able to stay at your uncles? Do you think that’s still a possibility?”
“Ya, I’ll call them.”
Well, there goes my chance of spending more time with them. I knew the day was nearing an end, and I wasn’t happy about it. I was enjoying my time with all them. We soon said good-bye, knowing Josiah M was holding a get together at his house in two weeks and we’d likely see each other then. Knowing it wasn’t going to be months again before we saw each other made saying good-bye not so dramatic. I closed the door behind them as I was visiting with Jannah for a little longer.
“You like him, don’t you?!” said an accusing Jannah.
Play dumb! “Like who?”
“Josiah M.”
DENY! DENY! DENY! My teenage brain screamed.
“No! Why would you think that?” Shoot, was I so obvious?
“I don’t know, I can just tell.”
Embarrassed but calming from initially being taken off-guard, I thought about the best way to proceed. Well, I could keep denying it but she probably won’t believe me. Besides, who would she tell, she hardly knows him anyways.”
“Well, I mean, he’s kinda cute. I guess I sort of like him. I dunno. But please Jannah, don’t tell anyone. It doesn’t matter anyways. It’s not like I’m in love with him or anything. I just think he’s cute and fun to hang out with.”
The next day I was reminded that my older sister is one of Jannah’s best friends… and my secret was no longer a secret.
